Feeling the Burn

Well I am at the half way mark on the radiation treatments.  That's 3.5 weeks down and 3.5 more to go!  While I am still tired all the time it is not nearly as bad as it was during chemo.  I am also starting to see the radiation burn on the right side of my chest, neck and under my arm.  I am putting lotion on 3-4 times a day to help with that.  The doc says the skin looks really good for this point in the treatment.  I had seen some really nasty pictures of breasts after radiation so this was a big concern for me.  Everything was looking so good since the surgery, I want to to do all I can to keep things looking good.

Best I could get...

In other news, I have been trying to get out  little more now that I am feeling better and the weather is getting nicer.  Last week was my birthday.  We went to brunch on Sunday to a restaurant here in Denver that Justin Timberlake is part owner.  Clearly he didn't get the invite to my brunch because he was a no show.  Oh well.  I had french toast and a Bloody Mary!!

Here is another thing no one told me about the chemo.  It really messes with your nails!  Not only are the nails pulling away from the nail bed (ouch), they are yellow & gross.  That is the poison, aka drugs, growing out of my body.  I am not normally one to pay for manis and pedis unless it is a special occasion, but I can't stand to look at them this way.  So pink nails it is!

Yuck!

Double Yuck!

I celebrated the Rockies Opening Day last week.  Boy was it nuts downtown!  But it was fun.  I had a beer but it did not taste very good.  My tastebuds are still not back to normal.  That could take a while from what I have read.  

Sunday I went shopping looking for a dress for an upcoming wedding.  The sales associate was so helpful and patient.  She kept brining me all different things to try.  Dresses I would have never picked myself but it was fun trying them all on.  In addition to a dress for the wedding, I got one for a fashion show I am going to in Vegas in July!

Options

I also went back to the gym tonight. While I am not cleared to go back to the bootcamp style workouts yet, I tried the 30 min core class tonight.  It was hard and I am beat but it was good to see my gym friends and feel a bit like my "old self".  

I know it will be a while before all this is behind me.  But I want to start to get a little more of my routine back.  Even if just 1 day a week.   And if i am doing more, I will have some things to write about!  I know it was few and far between here for a while but there wasn't much to write about besides not feeling well and sleeping.

Thank you for sticking with me! xoxo

A Day of Firsts

Today is a day if firsts...1st day of spring, the Twin's 1st day at her new job and my 1st radiation treatment.

I love the first day of spring.  The thought of the flowers that will bloom,  the green grass and the days filled with sunshine.

The Twin started her new job at Susan G Komen, Houston today!  Kinda crazy how some things just happen.  I just know she will do amazing things there.  Save the date for her Race for the Cure on Oct. 7th!

Today was my 1st of 35 radiation treatments.  I will go Monday - Friday for 7 weeks.  It wasn't too bad.  Once I am on the table, it's only about 15 min.  The doctor said it will be more an inconvenience then anything else.  Biggest side effects are more fatigue and skin irritation. 

A few more things and all this cancer stuff will be in the rearview.  I cannot wait!

I did get to travel to Atlanta for the Ace convention this past week.  It was great to see all my coworkers and get out of the apartment for some time.  But boy am I beat!  Off to bed to catch up on more sleep.

Chemo Finale

Well the hard part is over.  Thanks for sticking with me the last 16 weeks.  I am hoping now that I will be doing more then sleeping at watching Netflix, I will get back to sharing more with you here.  If there is anything you want to know, just ask me in the comments :)

My mom came back out (4th time) for my final treatment.  These last 4 were long days.  We got there at 9:30 and left about 3 pm.  But the nursing staff was as fabulous as always.  I developed a sensitivity to the saline over time.  It was bad, I could taste it and it made me sick to my stomach.  It was Briana that suggested peanut butter.  I learned it overwhelms the senses.  It worked, which is good because they use the saline 4 or 5 different times throughout the treatment.

Mom, my great nurses and me after it was done!

My Twin came to down but arrived after treatment day.  Again Mom had made 4 trips and Twin 2 and they hadn't seen anything Colorado since I was under the weather.  We did manage to make it to Red Rocks, it's only 20 min from where I live.  It was freezing cold and a grey day but they still could appreciate how awesome it really is.  I will get to a concert there this summer!

Mom and Twin at Red Rocks

Twin was here for Valentines day so we had some single lady friends over for laughs and snacks.  It was great to see everything and have some fun. Don't mind the mess in the sink. Target for the win on the cute paper plates and napkins.  I hope we all follow our hearts. 

Girls Night

I was sad to see Mom and Twin go home.  While I am not out of the woods yet, I am hoping the recovery is smooth and short.

We love Snapchat filters!

2016 wrap up

It was radio silence there for a while.  Sorry about that.  Chemo #3 & 4 really knocked me on my ass.  It took longer and longer to bounce back after those.  And I wasn't even answering text messages.  It was a lot of sleeping and Netflix.  I did make it back to PA for Thanksgiving as I mentioned in my last post ions ago.  The pic below is all my cousins that were there.  It was good to be there with the family.

Right after Thanksgiving I did get my tree up (before chemo #3).  Tow of my guy friends came over and helped.  I didn't know that decorating a tree could be so dirty, but they had no problems with the jokes and comments.  

I was also able to make it to a holiday party at the Denver Zoo.  I didn't last too long out in the cold but my friends were good sports about it.  I couldn't have had on any more clothes either.  But at least we got a picture.  And the wig looks pretty good there too!

The day after chemo #4 I was on a plane back to PA for my sisters wedding and Christmas.  I had big plans for the 2 week stay but only made it off the couch those 2 days.  Everyone in the family was sick with a nasty head cold so I got that as well as some other stuff.  It wasn't too much fun.  My taste buds are all by gone so finding things to eat and drink are tough.  Anything sweet is so bad I can't do it.  Water also tastes so bad I can't drink it.  When I came downstairs on Christmas morning I found my parents asleep.  I thought this was such a cute photo of them.  

The wedding was 2 days before Christmas.  My friend Nicole from { La Bella Sposa } did an great job on everyone's hair and my wig looked amazing (probably needed to be pulled forward in this picture but thats ok).  It was pretty cold so I wore a sweater most of the night but did take it off for some of the pictures since I paid for such a pretty dress.  

My Twin sister and I

My family

It's a thing now to pick a word that will be your theme or mantra for the new year.  I had to do it for work so mine will be resilience.  Which be definitions means - the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.  Yup that will do it!

Chemo # 2 and a new do

Well jeez I didn't think I would be gone for so long.  I have a lot to catch you up on.   I had my second treatment on Nov. 16.  I was optimistic since the first one seemed to go so well.  I even drove myself because of a schedule mix up.  I saw the doctor before the treatment and since things went well and the only real side effect besides being tired was the rash, she cut back on the steroid (it caused the rash).  The treatment itself was just like the first.  I felt pretty good when I left.  All was good until it was time for bed and then I felt woozy.  I spent some time on the bathroom floor.  I never got sick, but sure felt like it.  

This was getting to be normal and not fun!

Thursday morning was not too bad.  I picked my uncle up from the airport at 10am.  We came back to my apartment, I worked the rest of the day.  Meanwhile, my hair had really started to fall out.  Some of my guy friends had already planned to come over to shave it so it worked out my uncle was there.  Somehow he was nominated to do the shaving.  We got pizza and had lots of laughs as my uncle went to work.  I kept hoping my hair wouldn't fall out and I would be spared for some reason.  I had just gotten good at making the short hair look good.  But the bald head isn't so bad.

Head shave in progress (stolen from Snapchat)

Things really went down hill on Friday.  I felt so nauseous but slept a lot so that helped some.  You don't feel sick when you are sleeping.  I took 2, 3 hour long naps during the day.  Everything tasted so bad, even water.  I had a hard time eating or drinking anything.  I also had a metal smell that was like stuck in my nose.  I couldn't get rid of it.  I have read that some people taste the metal and others smell it.  My nose is like super sniffer, still very sensitive to all smells.  I felt bad for my uncle, Saturday and Sunday were very much like Friday.  We were set to fly back east on Tuesday for Thanksgiving.  I know he was getting nervous about the flight.

The after shot with some friends

Monday morning I emailed my nurse and told her how crappy I was feeling and that I hadn't been able to eat or drink much.  She told me to come that afternoon to get some IV fluids.  So my uncle took me over to the hospital where I got fluids and some meds.  I had lost 4 lbs since the treatment less then a week before.  I came home and went back to sleep.  I woke up Tuesday morning feeling better but still not great.  We were able to get to the airport and the flight wasn't terrible.  We even got upgraded to business class when we requested to have seats next to one another since our tickets were booked at different times.  

Flying in a mask is so much fun!

My trip back to PA and Thanksgiving will be another post - tomorrow or the next day I promise.  Mom is coming this week just in case the treatment on Wednesday goes like the last.  And it's starting to look like Christmas around here :)

Pineapples!

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, someone along the way suggested a photo shoot to “document” my OG tatas. I talked about it with my mom and she thought it was a great idea (I was a little surprised). I found a photographer through google and went back and forth with her for a bit. I needed a second biopsy and wanted those incisions to heal before doing a shoot so they didn’t stand out too much. I also went back to PA to see my family before surgery. By the time I was ready to schedule, the original photographer was booked. I asked her if she knew anyone else that may be able to help me, that’s how I found Adena! Check out her full site {here}. 

I think our first real conversation was on a Thursday and my shoot would be the following day. Most girls plan for months for this. Several shopping trips to find the perfect outfits are typical. I had 24 hours. I threw a bunch of different things in a bag and made it pit stop at the grocery store for some pineapples. I showed up on Friday excited for Adena to work her magic!

I couldn’t be happier with how this all worked out. Looking back I think it was meant to be that the other photographer was booked. Sometimes when you meet someone, you just click. I know that sounds so cliche but it is so true. Maybe it is because this shoot was so much more to me. I don’t know. After our first conversation, I knew things would be just perfect. I felt like Adena and I had known each other forever. I wasn’t nervous at all but so excited for this part of my story. She has given me something no one else could. This is a piece of me that I will never get back, but it's not completely lost. This is certainly better then the few iPhone pics I took along the way.

Having been through the shoot, I think this is something every girl should do at least once in her life. And if you find yourself in this crummy cancer situation, like me, I would say this is a must. I mean it. I felt like a million bucks when I left. The hair and makeup alone is a mini pamper session. Let alone the actual shoot. So if you are reading this and you know someone going through this, maybe give them the idea. This will for sure be my best memory of my breast cancer journey.

Chemo #2 is tomorrow...

Lately

Thursday night I went to see Jersey Boys, the musical, with some friends.  It was the first time I left the house for more then 30 minutes in more then a week!  My guy friends wanted to do something and were so thoughtful knowing I can't do much.  We had a blast and they were so entertaining, singing and dancing along in their seats.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  It was fantastic.

A few things to catch up on.  I did cut my hair - 13 inches to be exact.  I wanted to be able to donate it before I started losing it.  My salon working with a charity  - Kids with Hair Loss.  All the wigs are given to children losing hair for one reason or another.  I learned that Locks for Love sells the wigs they make with donated hair...BOOO.  It took me a little to get used to it, but I am liking the shorter hair.  This is good since it will be a long time before I have long hair again :)  The doctor thinks it should start to go this week.  The boys are on standby with the clippers to shave it when it's time.

There goes the ponytail

Best I could do for before and after

In other news, after all the shots and medicines, the fertility folks were able to get 12 eggs to keep on ice for when I am ready.  That's right - a whole dozen eggs :)  That should be more then enough for me.  But I am thankful I was able to do it.  I will have to continue to fight with insurance to see if I can get it all covered.  It wasn't cheap - but at the same time, being able to have babies in the future is priceless.  

My uncle is coming to stay with me this week for a few days.  Chemo #2 is on Wednesday and he gets here Thursday.  We are going to take a drive to Rocky Mountain National Park over the weekend.  It's still 70 degrees during the day.  Where is winter!?!  Then I will fly home with him to spend Thanksgiving with my family.  Almost the entire family will be at my aunts so it will be nice to see everyone.  I come home for a few weeks and will head back for my sister's wedding and Christmas.  

My uncle and I when we met at the gas station in NE.  He was driving CO -> PA and I was going PA -> CO!

Sorry this post wasn't too exciting.  Life on the couch just doesn't give me much to talk about.  Yay for Netflix!