Chemo # 2 and a new do

Well jeez I didn't think I would be gone for so long.  I have a lot to catch you up on.   I had my second treatment on Nov. 16.  I was optimistic since the first one seemed to go so well.  I even drove myself because of a schedule mix up.  I saw the doctor before the treatment and since things went well and the only real side effect besides being tired was the rash, she cut back on the steroid (it caused the rash).  The treatment itself was just like the first.  I felt pretty good when I left.  All was good until it was time for bed and then I felt woozy.  I spent some time on the bathroom floor.  I never got sick, but sure felt like it.  

This was getting to be normal and not fun!

Thursday morning was not too bad.  I picked my uncle up from the airport at 10am.  We came back to my apartment, I worked the rest of the day.  Meanwhile, my hair had really started to fall out.  Some of my guy friends had already planned to come over to shave it so it worked out my uncle was there.  Somehow he was nominated to do the shaving.  We got pizza and had lots of laughs as my uncle went to work.  I kept hoping my hair wouldn't fall out and I would be spared for some reason.  I had just gotten good at making the short hair look good.  But the bald head isn't so bad.

Head shave in progress (stolen from Snapchat)

Things really went down hill on Friday.  I felt so nauseous but slept a lot so that helped some.  You don't feel sick when you are sleeping.  I took 2, 3 hour long naps during the day.  Everything tasted so bad, even water.  I had a hard time eating or drinking anything.  I also had a metal smell that was like stuck in my nose.  I couldn't get rid of it.  I have read that some people taste the metal and others smell it.  My nose is like super sniffer, still very sensitive to all smells.  I felt bad for my uncle, Saturday and Sunday were very much like Friday.  We were set to fly back east on Tuesday for Thanksgiving.  I know he was getting nervous about the flight.

The after shot with some friends

Monday morning I emailed my nurse and told her how crappy I was feeling and that I hadn't been able to eat or drink much.  She told me to come that afternoon to get some IV fluids.  So my uncle took me over to the hospital where I got fluids and some meds.  I had lost 4 lbs since the treatment less then a week before.  I came home and went back to sleep.  I woke up Tuesday morning feeling better but still not great.  We were able to get to the airport and the flight wasn't terrible.  We even got upgraded to business class when we requested to have seats next to one another since our tickets were booked at different times.  

Flying in a mask is so much fun!

My trip back to PA and Thanksgiving will be another post - tomorrow or the next day I promise.  Mom is coming this week just in case the treatment on Wednesday goes like the last.  And it's starting to look like Christmas around here :)

Pineapples!

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, someone along the way suggested a photo shoot to “document” my OG tatas. I talked about it with my mom and she thought it was a great idea (I was a little surprised). I found a photographer through google and went back and forth with her for a bit. I needed a second biopsy and wanted those incisions to heal before doing a shoot so they didn’t stand out too much. I also went back to PA to see my family before surgery. By the time I was ready to schedule, the original photographer was booked. I asked her if she knew anyone else that may be able to help me, that’s how I found Adena! Check out her full site {here}. 

I think our first real conversation was on a Thursday and my shoot would be the following day. Most girls plan for months for this. Several shopping trips to find the perfect outfits are typical. I had 24 hours. I threw a bunch of different things in a bag and made it pit stop at the grocery store for some pineapples. I showed up on Friday excited for Adena to work her magic!

I couldn’t be happier with how this all worked out. Looking back I think it was meant to be that the other photographer was booked. Sometimes when you meet someone, you just click. I know that sounds so cliche but it is so true. Maybe it is because this shoot was so much more to me. I don’t know. After our first conversation, I knew things would be just perfect. I felt like Adena and I had known each other forever. I wasn’t nervous at all but so excited for this part of my story. She has given me something no one else could. This is a piece of me that I will never get back, but it's not completely lost. This is certainly better then the few iPhone pics I took along the way.

Having been through the shoot, I think this is something every girl should do at least once in her life. And if you find yourself in this crummy cancer situation, like me, I would say this is a must. I mean it. I felt like a million bucks when I left. The hair and makeup alone is a mini pamper session. Let alone the actual shoot. So if you are reading this and you know someone going through this, maybe give them the idea. This will for sure be my best memory of my breast cancer journey.

Chemo #2 is tomorrow...

Lately

Thursday night I went to see Jersey Boys, the musical, with some friends.  It was the first time I left the house for more then 30 minutes in more then a week!  My guy friends wanted to do something and were so thoughtful knowing I can't do much.  We had a blast and they were so entertaining, singing and dancing along in their seats.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  It was fantastic.

A few things to catch up on.  I did cut my hair - 13 inches to be exact.  I wanted to be able to donate it before I started losing it.  My salon working with a charity  - Kids with Hair Loss.  All the wigs are given to children losing hair for one reason or another.  I learned that Locks for Love sells the wigs they make with donated hair...BOOO.  It took me a little to get used to it, but I am liking the shorter hair.  This is good since it will be a long time before I have long hair again :)  The doctor thinks it should start to go this week.  The boys are on standby with the clippers to shave it when it's time.

There goes the ponytail

Best I could do for before and after

In other news, after all the shots and medicines, the fertility folks were able to get 12 eggs to keep on ice for when I am ready.  That's right - a whole dozen eggs :)  That should be more then enough for me.  But I am thankful I was able to do it.  I will have to continue to fight with insurance to see if I can get it all covered.  It wasn't cheap - but at the same time, being able to have babies in the future is priceless.  

My uncle is coming to stay with me this week for a few days.  Chemo #2 is on Wednesday and he gets here Thursday.  We are going to take a drive to Rocky Mountain National Park over the weekend.  It's still 70 degrees during the day.  Where is winter!?!  Then I will fly home with him to spend Thanksgiving with my family.  Almost the entire family will be at my aunts so it will be nice to see everyone.  I come home for a few weeks and will head back for my sister's wedding and Christmas.  

My uncle and I when we met at the gas station in NE.  He was driving CO -> PA and I was going PA -> CO!

Sorry this post wasn't too exciting.  Life on the couch just doesn't give me much to talk about.  Yay for Netflix! 

Chemo #1

Sorry for the radio silence over here.  I had my first Chemo treatment on Monday the 31st.  I also went back to work this week.  Between the 2 I was sleeping a lot this week.

My port in action

My first treatment wasn't bad, all things considered.  The nurses were fantastic.  Everyone took their time explaining what was happening.  The port was great.  They used a numbing spray on the area so I didn't feel a thing.  I got 2 different kinds anti-nausea medicine, and a steroid before the 2 different chemo drugs.   My friend, Erica, went with me for this one.  We were there about 3 hours total.  Not too bad at all.  I met with a nutritionist while I was there.  She gave me some tips on managing my diet to help with the side effects.  I felt good the rest of the day Monday.

Julie my nurse all dressed up for halloween

Tuesday was my first day back to work.  I went to a meeting and got to see a good group of people. They were happy to have me back.  And didn't mind that I passed around Purell to help keep me healthy.  After the meeting I had to go back to the infusion center and get a shot of Nulasta.  This helps with the white blood cells.  It also made me very achy in my bones, but that is normal.

Back to work outfit

The rest of the week was just work and sleep.  I am happy I haven't had the bad nausea that they have talked about and hope it stays that way.  I have just been extremely tired.  Friday night I used instacart.com and had some groceries delivered.  It was so easy, I will do that again for sure.  I forgot a few things and did go to Target yesterday.  After 25 min, I was ready to come home.  I just have to get used to the fact that things will be different these next few months.  I am hoping that I feel better and have more energy next week in my off week.  

This cutie was parked next to me at Target

In addition to being tired, I have noticed that some smells really bother me now.  The soap I use to wash my hands has a lavender sent and on Tuesday I had to rewash them because it was just too much.  I went through a few different soaps and the milk & honey bothered me the least.  Things also taste different.  Even plain water has a yucky tastes.  I have been drinking mostly apple juice, 7up and smoothies.  The taste and smell changes are normal and could even change again as I go on.  Something that I like today may taste horrible tomorrow.  It's all a learning experience!

All the soaps!

Hit me with your best shot

Today wasn't such a great day.  Yesterday was a full day.  It started at 7:15 with blood work and ultra sound at the fertility center.  Followed by 8am at the plastic surgeon and 9 am at the oncologist.   I had my FABtober makeover (more on that in a minute) at Nordstrom and then ended the day with the breast surgeon at 4.   All in all everything is looking good. I won't see the PS or the BS now until after chemo is done.  I will do some physical therapy to help the range of motion in my arms. The right more then the left needs it since that is where all the lymph nodes were taken.  I got the go ahead for regular bras!  Wooo-hooo!  I also got a flu shot.  The oncologist wanted that since my white blood cell count will be way down.  I woke up feeling pretty shitty.  Between the flu shot and the egg meds I think my body is mad at me.  

This should be my costume! 

I got the call that they will harvest my eggs now tomorrow (Friday).  This is one day later then they told me last week.  Apparently my eggs, well follicles really, needed one more day to grow.  So I did my trigger shots last night - one at 11:45 and one at 12:45am and then the last one at 12:45pm.  Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful I had this option to ensure I can have babies someday; however, these last 2 weeks have been crazy with all the shots and appointments.  But it will all be over tomorrow!

So much easier then the one in the butt

This is what 2 weeks of my meds looks like

Back to the make over.  I won a FABtober makeover at my local Nordstrom! The Pink Agenda and Giuliana Rancic’s FAB-U-WISH program gave me a fabulous Estée Lauder makeover experience as part of their FABtober campaign. They wanted to provide a fun, memorable experience for girls in the midst of facing breast cancer.  I got to take 2 friends, we got made up at the Estée Lauder counter and had a great lunch at the Nordstrom Cafe.  We all came home with some fabulous goodies! 

Not the best photo of me, but I tried

This was the best part for sure!

The goodies :)

Chemo starts Monday!

Out and about and back in bed

This was my first weekend since the mastectomy surgery I didn't have any family in town. Thankfully, I had some things planned but boy was I beat today.  I was in and out of sleep until 4:30 pm, but they say that's normal.  I may have over done it a little, but am so happy with how things went.

Carrie is always a good idea

Friday night was low key, because I knew I would be out for a bit on Saturday.  Adena, my awesome photographer (more on that later), had a Breast Cancer Awareness Open House at her studio.  I brought my Stella & Dot goodies and there was pink hair extensions, temporary tattoos, pink drinks and lots of fun.  Her son and daughter were there and at the end handed me a stack of pink cards that all the kids that came made for me.  I did not even realize what all the kids were doing the whole time.  It was so sweet.  I have to figure out where to hang them! 

Bags, scarves and book - Oh My!

On my way home, I stopped at a bar downtown to catch the last quarter of the A&M game.  My good friend Erica is an alumni and she and some of the girls were out for the game.  After that is was home to spend the rest of the night on the couch.  

Ready to go!  Glad I can step into this shirt.  It was warm.

Sunday was the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer 5K.  Me and 6 of my girl friends and 3 of there pups walked the 3.1 miles.  It was the first time I had done one.  I got a Miss America style sash that said Survivor along with a special t-shirt.  The Top Golf tent had the best goodies - bags, beer koozies and hair ties! 

Survivor Squad

After the walk I had to run and get blood work and an ultrasound for the fertility folks.  The girls went to Southern Hospitality to get a table. Brunch was amazing!  I can't wait to go back when I can drink - $12 bottomless mimosas or bloody mary's - yes, please!  I did have one virgin bloody but it wasn't the same.  The food was so good and because of the pups, we sat out on the patio.  The sun was shining, it was just perfect.  After brunch, a few of us stopped at the outlets on the way home.  I picked up a cute zip up and a shirt, both will be good for chemo so they can access the port.  

Wasn't quite the same...

What a fun weekend even if I slept all day today.  This is a big week;  follow ups with all the docs BS, PS and the oncologist, egg harvest and first chemo treatment.  I'll keep you posted!

Oh baby!

Last week when I met with the oncologist on Monday, she mentioned the risks of chemo on my fertility.  When she was done, the nurse came in and gave me information on a fertility clinic.   I called when we got home and made an appointment for Wednesday.  The doctor was great, she explained how things work and recommended, based on the chemo that I would be getting, that I go ahead and freeze my eggs.  Because chemo was set to start in a little over 2 weeks, I had until Friday to decide due to the limited window.  

Dad got here shortly after the visit.  We talk over the information that I had.  There would be a follow up visit on Friday morning (day after surgery) and he would go to that with me.  In the meantime, I did some research and this is not covered by my insurance.  I would need to pay upfront and it is not cheap!  Luckily, I had the money in my savings account.  I did look into borrowing from my 401K and some other things, but taking it from my savings made the most sense.    

Pretty much!

On Friday, they took blood, did an ultrasound and then Dad and I met with the nurse.  She went through the medicines and how to do the shots.  There was 1 shot in the morning and 1 shot and 2 different pills at night.  She gave me some to get me started and sent us to a speciality pharmacy to pick up some more.  The meds are an additional expense.  While waiting for the meds, I got a call from the Livestrong Foundation, that I was approved to have some of the meds covered by them.  This was great news and saved me $1,000!  They would overnight the meds so I would have them the next day.  On Saturday I got a call from a program at Walgreens that they would also be donating some meds.  These programs are for girls like me going through this process due to cancer treatments.  

Image from Google. I can't take one of myself.

I have been doing the meds for almost a week.  I have been to the clinic several times for blood work and ultrasounds so they can make sure everything is progressing on track.  Yesterday, the nurse called and added another shot to the morning meds.  Tomorrow I will have a regroup with the doctor.

All the needles!

This is all happening so fast but it wasn't a hard choice.  I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember.  I didn't think I would be doing this part alone.  Single, very single, was my answer when the doctor asked about my relationship status. Don't get me wrong, Dad was great while he was here but this is just another reminder that there is no special someone.  But this will give me the best chance for babies when I find him...someday.

Surgery Round 2

Things have been a little nutty the last few days.  My dad got here on Wednesday so he could be here for the surgery on Thursday.  For this procedure, they will remove 10 more lymph nodes to test and put in a port for chemo.  I hope to hear the lymph node results today.

My cousin in PA designed this shirt and 70+ of his coworkers are all wearing them!

Before the check in for surgery, I had to have an echocardigram done.  This is so there is a baseline to compare future heart tests to during and after the chemo.  That took about 45 min.  My implants kept getting in the way.  Oh well, nothing I can do about that.  After that was done, we went to check in at the surgery desk.  They took me right back to get ready - gown, IV, etc.  I did not have to do the nose to toes prep this time.  That was nice.

Pre surgery slefie with Dad

Once the IV was in, Dad came back to sit with me.  Finally Dr. B came in to chat.  She had requested that Dad wear a pink shirt, just like Mom and the Twin had.  She was so happy to see him in pink.  He was also a big hit with the nurses as well.  He was easy to find in that shirt.  She went through the procedure, make some marks and with that, it was time to go!

I woke up in recovery, Dad came back for a minute.  I also saw Dr. B, she said everything went well.   She did have to put in a drain under my arm to help with the fluid.  They took a check xray to make sure the port was in the right spot.   I also had a patch behind my left ear to help with nausea.  The only con to this was it gave me dry mouth.  Ice chips were my best friend!  After a shot stay in recovery, we were on our way home by 3pm.  

The Chemo port

I was a little out of it the rest of the day.  I talked to family and was in and out of naps.  Friday we got up to go to an appointment at the fertility center.  I will get more into this in a separate post.  I was feeling pretty good on Friday.  Got up, took a shower and washed my own hair.  Took it easy most of the day.  I was sitting on couch when all of a sunned there was a shooting, hot pain running down my arm.  I had no idea what was going on, this was brand new for me.  It brought me to tears it hurt so bad.  I think I scared Dad too.  It didn't last too long but I knew we needed to call the doctor.  By the time she called back (less then an hour) it had happened again.  She said the tube from the drain was most likely hitting a nerve causing the pain.  She said we would get the drain out on Tuesday.  

I spent the rest of the weekend trying not to aggravate the drain tube or the verve.  (This means a lot of Netflix).  We did make it to the grocery and hardware stores for a few things.  And Dad cooked elk steaks on the grill.  Sunday was the best day with no nerve pain.  This was supposed to be the easy surgery, but if this is as bad as it gets, I can't complain too much.  

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Oh and some good news!   I  found out I’m a #FABtober recipient! So excited to enjoy my fabulous { Estee Lauder } makeover experience at Nordstrom with my squad! Let’s raise awareness with { The Pink Agenda }, { FABUWISH } and Giuliana Rancic to support the ultimate wish of finding a cure for breast cancer: http://bit.ly/GiveFABtober16 

Keep it Going!

Surgery day again tomorrow.  They will be taking 10 more lymph nodes to test and I will also get my chemo port put in place.  I am always a few days behind on posts but that helps me process the information before I write about it.  I will fill you in on surgery and the meeting with the fertility folks this morning at the end of the week. 

In the meantime, here is more shopping fun!

Stella & Dot's sister company, Keep Collective also has items to support Bright Pink this month. Create a bracelet or key tag that is as unique as you.  Tell your story or grab a gift some one brave woman you know that is fighting against cancer.  

Use the link below to see all items supporting Bring Pink

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Real men wear pink too!  The uni-sex black silicone keeper and the pink ribbon are the perfect way for any guy to show his support!

Shop my online Keep event and create your bracelet { here }

When it rains...

I am coming off a great weekend.  My cousin Doug came out for a visit.  He got here on Friday morning and just left this morning.  He and I used to live around the corner from each other before I moved to Denver.  So we fell back into our normal routine for the weekend - Chinese food, movies, Costso and Real Housewives!  There were lots of laughs (which is hard because it still hurts when I laugh) but it was so great to have him out here!  He did reorganize my kitchen so the cabinets make much more sense now!

My plus one!

Yesterday morning he went with me to meet with the medical oncologist.  My BS called last week to give me the results of my Oncotype DX test.  This is a test helps predict the recurrence of the cancer. My score came back in the range that says I need chemo.  I prepared myself for this.  I mean lets be real, I keep getting curveball after curveball.  The only thing since the diagnosis that has gone my way is that the PS could do the direct to implant saving me from tissue expanders.  I don't want to sound like a brat.  I know I am in much better shape then a lot of other people.  But I was hoping that chemo would not be necessary.

Stopped at Ulta on Sunday to get a pink extention

I have more appointments to really understand all this.  I will see the breast navigator, fertility specialist and American Cancer Society navigator - she will fit me for a wig.  

Still can't wash my own hair.  I got a gift cert for the Drybar.  Best idea ever!

More to come on this as I learn more.  Thursday, I go in for the surgery to remove 10 more lymph nodes, they will also put in my chemo port at the same time.  This will be good because normally you are awake when they put it in with a local.  I am totally ok with being out for that!