Weekend Rambles

Easy like a Sunday morning...or so they say, right?  I am still not sleeping so well.  Yesterday I picked up melatonin gummies to try and help me sleep.  Tried those last night but didn't read the instructions to know I should have taken 60 minutes before I wanted to go to sleep.  So I will try again tonight. I wake up every morning and remind myself that this is really happening.  And then I do my best to be positive the rest of the day.  This is what it is and me sulking about it or wallowing away isn't going to make things any better.

Available at Walgreens

My brain has been a little bit like mush this last week.  Not so many appointments this week so I am going to try and get back to normal for a little bit.  I pulled out some of the tons of information I got last week.  Couldn't get through more then a few pages.  In time I hope to get through some of it.

One of my first friends here in Denver moved to CA about a month ago.  She was back in town for a wedding this weekend.  It was great to go out with the girls Thursday and Friday night.  Turns out the party I thought was today was really yesterday.  I got a text at 7:15 last night that said "are you coming over?"  The party started at 1pm.  Oops.  That is a good family that is moving to Dallas and leaving tonight.  So glad she sent that text or I would have missed them.

I finally got caught up on laundry today and cleaned up my place.  I know oh so exciting right!  I really hate when my apartment is messy.  With a break in my work travel I am going to keep it nice and clean (well try).

The calls, texts and support from everyone has been amazing and this is just the beginning.  I know I have some great people in my corner.  I will be forever grateful for that.

Flower from Mom & Dad

Roses from Aunt Sandy & Kevin, goodies from a work friend and Sugarwish from a Stella sister

Inside the Sugarwish

PS if you have never heard of {Sugarwish}, you should check it out.  You send candy as an eGift, but the best part is the recipient gets to pick their own candy!  It was so fun to look through all the choices!

Dream Girls or Dream Boobs

Some of you may be thinking - dream boobs, what the heck is she thinking??

When I was at that meeting last week, the day I found out, my friend said something about getting dream boobs.  It kinda stuck with me.   Then I went to Orlando the very next day for a Stella & Dot conference.  What better place to be after getting news like that?  I was with 3,000 super happy, positive ladies and a few men.  I was able to see girls I haven't seen since my move to Denver a year ago.  And got more support then I ever dreamed of.

One of the girls wanted me to come up with a phrase or # that she could text me or I her so I knew she was thinking of me.  I wouldn't to respond if I wasn't in the mood to chat but I would know she was thinking of me.  Or I could text it to her if I needed a pick me  up or was just having a bad day.  There was a small group that was in on this idea.  Right away I knew it would be #dreamboobs.

After thinking about it, dream boobs can mean  cancer free boobs or nice brand new boobs.  And the best part is it makes me smile.  So when my sister suggested I start a place to keep track of my thoughts and feelings, dream boobs seemed appropriate for that too.  Going with a theme here :)

While at the conference in Orlando we got to see the new fall line (it's amazing) and a new engravable was launched.  I got 2 and will give you 3 guesses what I had engraved on them.  Here are the mock ups.  I can't wait for them to arrive with the rest of my goodies tomorrow.  Want your own? visit my {e-botuqie} (sorry for the shameless plug - insurance doesn't cover everything so every dollar helps)

The News

A week ago I went for a biopsy because I found a lump in my right boob.  After a mammogram and ultra sound confirmed that they could see what I was feeling, the next step was a biopsy.  I was annoyed by the phone call that my co-op for the less then 2 hour procedure would be $800!  I went anyway figuring it would at least give me piece of mind that the bump was nothing.  

I got to the apportionment and everyone was so nice and friendly.  The nurse explained what was going to happen, then the doc came in and did the same.  Sounded like no big deal.  They took me back to a room and prepped the area.  I was awake for the procedure.  We talked about work, the music that was playing and upcoming vacations.  Afterwords, I was wrapped up like I had just had my boobs done.  They told me I would get a call in a day or so with the results.  With the ice pack in my boobs, I went back to day 1 of the 2 day meeting I was attending that week.  I went to dinner that night with a group of folks from work.  We ate, drank and chatted.  

The next morning, my phone rang while sitting in the meeting.  I quickly got up and left the room to answer.  Bonnie, my nurse navigator, was on the other end.  She started, "we got the results back and I am sorry to say it is cancer"  She kept going but all I heard was cancer.  That ugly word that no one ever wants to hear.  I stopped Bonnie and asked her if I could conference in my mom.  (I am in Denver, she is in Philly).  She said that was a great idea, knowing she was across the country.  I called Mom, who was out to lunch with friends, having just purchased her Mother of the Bride dress for my little sister's wedding.  I told her Bonnie was on the other line and had my results for us.  I connected the calls and Bonnie started over again explaining the diagnosis.  Mom had a few questions, I didn't have any.

I hung up the phone and went back into the meeting.  I tried hard not to think about what I had just been told.  At our lunch break, I emailed the gal leading the meeting.  She knew about the biopsy the day before.  When she saw the news, she came over and we went outside to talk.  She was in as much shock as I was.  Guess I should add in, I am 35 years old and there is no history of Breast Cancer in my family.  She let me know I could leave for the rest of the day if I wanted, but I chose to stay.  Bonnie was on fire and by the 3:30, I had 5 different appointments booked for the following week.  

The meeting ended and I felt it was important to tell the BOD president and the regional manager what had been going on over the last 24 hours.  It was the first time I said out loud that I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  That wasn't easy and for the first time I cried.  Both men didn't think twice and I got one big hug.  They told me there would be there whatever I needed.  My CO work family knows my real family is all in PA.  It was nice to hear the support from them.

I left the meeting and went to meet Bonnie to pick up a packet full of information.  Here is is 6 days later and I don't think I have made it through half of it.  Right now, its just one day at a time.  Still processing this news and what it is going to mean.  

Image via { here }